Caveman Summit

Attending writing workshops and conferences is something I have enjoyed in my endeavor to become a published author. But, none can beat the dreamlike quality and euphoric mannerisms employed by those at the Caveman Summit, where I found myself one day.

I entered a conference/banquet room full of diverse people. Most wore furs and carried the typical club.

I decided to check out the refreshment table first. If you are a vegetarian, than this is not the Summit for you! Although, there were trays of bananas, walnuts and tomatoes. But, the bananas were for the gorilla exhibit, the walnuts were taken for the sling-shot maneuvers and the tomatoes--nobody touched, so I didn't either. The remaining trays were loaded with ham shanks, beef tenderloins, pigs feet, legs of lamb and...well you get the idea.

As I stood there pondering the food choices, a man covered with hair from his shoeless feet to the inside of his ears--amazing enough his head was bald--trotted over to me, held out his ogre like hands and said, "I mold iron with my bare hands."

I held my arms closer to my body so he wouldn't rip them from the sockets and said the first thing that came to my mind, "I eat iron in a pill!" And, just like that I became the talk of the Summit. You'd think I was the keynote speaker or the guest they couldn't wait to meet.

Like many conferences do, they set up 4 chairs at the front of the banquet room for a panel discussion they had scheduled. Then a lady with arms longer than many attending informed me that I was to be the panel discussion leader. What! I was appalled. I told her, "No way, I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it."

A crowd had gathered and they looked upset. I knew they could remove my appendages, so I asked her what the topic was. She said, "What Ancient Man would say about Modern Man." Then she corrected herself and said, "What Ancient Man/Women would say about Modern Man/Women."

Clearly, I was curious about this myself. I told her that I would be honored to lead this discussion. With her long arm she handed me a list of questions and while I waited for the panel to begin I read over the questions to prepare myself.

In order not to make this post 3 hours long, I will include the questions and answers from this panel in upcoming posts. So, please check back and I welcome your comments when you do!