Do You Sell Prince Albert in a Can?

My daughter, Pip and I sat in church watching a little boy play with a folded up paper, like origami, where his fingers fit into the slots and he asked, "Pick a number" then counted; and then he asked, "Pick a color" and spelled out the color; then he asked a question and had the answer revealed under a folded corner.

Pip exclaimed how she played the same game when she was younger--not that she's that old now--and 35+ years ago, I played it too. And, in much the same fashion.

This got us thinking...How many generations of kids have played the same Urban games?

How about the "string game?" My daughter calls it "Cat in a cradle". We explained the game to my mom and she remembered it as well.

"Ring around the Rosies" has been around since the plague. How fun that must have been.

How about the Urban rhyme sung while jumping rope:
"Cinderella, dressed in Yella, Went upstairs to kiss a fella. Made a mistake and kissed a snake, how many doctors (or stitches) did it take?"

My mom didn't remember that one, but she did remember the kissing game and spin the bottle.

Have you ever met the King of Siam and had to chant OWA TANA SIAM, faster and faster; or have you been in the desert with a blanket on you and had to remove something so you wouldn't die of dehydration? Always funny as the clothing came out from under the blanket when common sense should have screamed, "TAKE OFF THE BLANKET, IDIOT!"

My book club talked about how they had a group "Doorbell ditching" last weekend, and dare we mention "Chinese Fire-drills"--a car load of teens did one in front of my car a couple weeks ago--they laughed and ran until the light turned green and piled back in their little Chevy Shove-it and drove off.

Is it as much a relief to you as it is to me that some nuances of childhood remain the same in the fast paced world of today?

One thing that has not stood the test of time is prank phone calls. THANK YOU MR. CALLER ID. So your refrigerator is probably running, but you don't need to catch it. And, you probably don't sell Prince Albert in a can.

I hope to play Hide-n-seek with my grandchildren and swing on the swings and have them say, "We're married Grandma." I hope to watch and listen to them enjoying jump rope and hopscotch rhymes. And... I'll be grateful to have precious little moments free from the distractions and hindrances of technology, because some things are meant to be kept simple.

I'm Going to the CBC!

I'm excited to attend the Casual Blogger Conference this week. I'm taking classes to learn more about blogging and design. And of course I'm enrolled in the writing classes. I'm definitely a lifelong learner!

Can't wait to meet other bloggers and friends I've met online. If you recognize me please come say hi!

Girls Night Out is going to be awesome! I saw Motherboard leaving today to make the final preparations and I know it will absolutely be the best!

Since my computer is the same weight as a stone tablet I will post about everything after I return.

My Native English and the Misuse of Lexis!

While I grew up with English as my native language, I often surprise myself with my profound misuse of lexis when I speak. I presume you know that lexis is not the car. I won't even get into how I learned that! But, when I publish my first book, I wouldn't mind having a Lexus with a license plate that reads: LEXIS.

Anyway, I'll say a word or two and those around me tend to get a blank look on their faces while they process or interpret what they heard or what they think they heard.

My husband tells me I have an ongoing problem of making up words. When he catches a made-up word, I'll go look it up in "my own dictionary" and most often the word is there and I'll enlighten him!

I know that my dictionary happens to be a Websters, printed in 1937. (See the picture above) I like using it. It has notes in the margins from people that aren't even around anymore. Thus I may speaketh and spelleth differently and it may account for my problem.

Sometimes I say a word that isn't used very often, or I just mix words up.

I believe this gift for words was given to me genetically, from my dad! He's very smart. Not only a retired teacher, but a keen storyteller, AND he's awesome at the misuse of words.

Not too long ago, my mom hurt her arm and I called to see how she was feeling. My dad answered the phone and I asked him how she was and he said, "Apparently pretty good for she is out getting a pedophile as we speak."

I paused, for although we have police officers in our family, my mother is not one of them! He then said, "A pedi... pedicure!"

I was so relieved!

We spoke of the time many years ago when I was a teen, and he told my younger brothers and sisters, who were being obnoxious, to go in the other room and play with the "erection set". I had glanced at the green, blue and red sticks and wheels on the floor and laughed. Any of you ever owned an erector set?

We had a good laugh over how we mix-up words in a most embarrassing way. This can be especially humiliating when you view yourself as a writer of words. I'm sure those who know me can recall times I have slipped in the word department. I'm not talking about swear words, but those times you're in front of kids, or family, or even a large audience and you mispronounce a word and don't even know it. It's like having a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth, which you discover AFTER the party; generally people don't call your attention to the problem, they just pretend it didn't happen.

For myself, I'll be relaxed after speaking in front of a Church group and a bead of sweat will form along my spine as I realize that the word I intended to use was Sect and I had actually said Sex. It's too late to run back to the pulpit and give a lengthy analysis of how it was not some Freudian thing, but my mind plays tricks on me with "it sounds like..." and if anyone had actually laughed I might have caught my mistake and we wouldn't be having this uncomfortable moment right now. Whew!

Has anyone had similar word mishaps? I'm thrilled to have followers on my new blog and want to hear your experiences. And please, pass this on, and let me know I'm not the only one with this lexis problem!

Caveman Summit: Question #1

The long arm lady had me sit near the front of the room to wait for the first question at the CAVEMAN SUMMIT. I had a few minutes and had nothing better to do than listen to those around me.

A conversation drifted my way from a table where a few women, with herring bones stuck in their assorted Texas sized hairdos, were seated.

"Cheetah, just isn't her color."

"And, did you see her leopard shoes?"

"I know! I only wear Louie Bitten with the red fox soles."

"Oh, me too!"

"I wonder how old that fossil bag is? I wouldn't be caught dead with one."

The long arm woman noticed my listening to these girls and said, "That's the 'savage girl' table."

Remember the tomatoes no one was eating? The tomatoes began to be tossed through the air by a man dressed in a burlap sack emitting a smell of onions, and landed in the faces and hair of these savage girls.

The long arm woman said, "We don't put up with them."

Nice.

The girls sat there with their arms crossed rolling their eyes, sporting the new ketchup look.

Long-arm lady made the announcement for the panelists to come forward. Interesting enough two of the panelists were the burlap sack man and a savage girl who still had tomato stuck in her herring bone. A third was the hairy, ogre handed man, the fourth was a tall elderly woman with hair dyed the color of an eggplant and wearing cheetah skin. They were introduced respectively as: Wallaman, Cyprus, Ernie and Baba.

It came time for the questions and I read the first aloud: Ancient man/woman painted hieroglyphics to leave something of themselves behind, what do you think modern man/woman is leaving behind and will be known for?

The entire conference room erupted in conversation and laughter until iron-pumping Ernie stood up and yelled, "Silence!" and then went on to say, "Humph, they will leave behind aluminum cans, plastic and diapers making it seem that was their food, their clothing, their everything."

He would be their environmentalist. Didn't see that one coming.

Wallaman went next, "Without a doubt modern man/woman will be viewed as stupid and non-thinkers. The thinkers would be recognized as becoming non-existant with the mainstream use of technology at the turn of the century and letter writing all but ceased."

A woman in the audience yelled out, "Ever since my son got a cell-phone he texts day and night--he held a party at our cave and texted me to bring down more grub for his friends."

"Girl, get rid of the cell phones and stick to the stone tablets." Cyprus said this and then began to refer the woman to the best stone tablet maker available when another man called out:

"They live with a Send-Read-Delete mentality."

I thought they were being a bit harsh until I remembered a seminar I attended with Robert McCullough as the speaker. He is the author of 1776. He spoke on the importance of journal writing. He said "If you want to become famous--keep a journal--and it will probably end up in the Library of Congress. It will be the only one."

Baba stood up, her shimmery purple hair flowing around her, and the room went quiet.

"I, myself, do not want to die and leave nothing but scraps behind. I had a hard time understanding the youth from my time, let alone modern time. The simple, yet memorable stick figures I painted of my grandchildren and children are still preserved in my cavern. Even my wolfhound, Aargh, and my cat, Beetles, are still lovingly displayed forever."

That comment left much for me to think on.

I wonder if future man/woman would know what to do with my CD's loaded with my family photos: glimpses of our precious time together, our love for each other, our moments of happiness and laughter, my children's faces from babe to high school graduation to first love and last love.

Maybe they won't know what to do with my CD's, but I can write in my journal and describe my daughter's coned head when she was first put in my arms and how that head became covered with blond locks to her waist; how she hit her forehead when she was learning to walk and the mark remains today and how she became hard headed as a teenager.

Question #1 made me realize the importance of a journal and the need to have an honest piece of my mind left behind. The caveman did it; it was really that simple!

Caveman Summit

Attending writing workshops and conferences is something I have enjoyed in my endeavor to become a published author. But, none can beat the dreamlike quality and euphoric mannerisms employed by those at the Caveman Summit, where I found myself one day.

I entered a conference/banquet room full of diverse people. Most wore furs and carried the typical club.

I decided to check out the refreshment table first. If you are a vegetarian, than this is not the Summit for you! Although, there were trays of bananas, walnuts and tomatoes. But, the bananas were for the gorilla exhibit, the walnuts were taken for the sling-shot maneuvers and the tomatoes--nobody touched, so I didn't either. The remaining trays were loaded with ham shanks, beef tenderloins, pigs feet, legs of lamb and...well you get the idea.

As I stood there pondering the food choices, a man covered with hair from his shoeless feet to the inside of his ears--amazing enough his head was bald--trotted over to me, held out his ogre like hands and said, "I mold iron with my bare hands."

I held my arms closer to my body so he wouldn't rip them from the sockets and said the first thing that came to my mind, "I eat iron in a pill!" And, just like that I became the talk of the Summit. You'd think I was the keynote speaker or the guest they couldn't wait to meet.

Like many conferences do, they set up 4 chairs at the front of the banquet room for a panel discussion they had scheduled. Then a lady with arms longer than many attending informed me that I was to be the panel discussion leader. What! I was appalled. I told her, "No way, I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it."

A crowd had gathered and they looked upset. I knew they could remove my appendages, so I asked her what the topic was. She said, "What Ancient Man would say about Modern Man." Then she corrected herself and said, "What Ancient Man/Women would say about Modern Man/Women."

Clearly, I was curious about this myself. I told her that I would be honored to lead this discussion. With her long arm she handed me a list of questions and while I waited for the panel to begin I read over the questions to prepare myself.

In order not to make this post 3 hours long, I will include the questions and answers from this panel in upcoming posts. So, please check back and I welcome your comments when you do!